FLORIDA GOVERNOR JEB BUSH ORDERS FEEDING TUBE RE-INSERTED IN BRAIN-DAMAGED BROTHER

By Bolivar Shagnasty

TALAHASSEE, October 21 –Four days ago, President George W. Bush’s feeding tube was removed by a team of physicians headed by Senate majority leader Dr. Bill Frist, who felt it was in the best interests of the Republican Party. But today, Florida Governor Jeb Bush, citing “inviolable right-wing religious principles,” ordered that doctors reinsert a feeding tube into his brain-damaged brother.

Since January 14, 2001, when a pretzel cut off the oxygen supply to his brain, George Bush has struggled valiantly to lead the United States. But his presidency has been marred by his near- vegetative state, and has resulted in destructive, irrational and simply stupid actions. This has led many observers to conclude that a merciful death would be better both for Bush and the world.

But Governor Bush invoked his brother’s right to life and intervened. “Moreover,” said Jeb Bush, “my brother was installed as president by Florida, not the United States as a whole, and therefore it is we who get to make the decisions.”

Asked what substances would be traveling through the feeding tube, Governor Bush was at first evasive, but finally admitted that “George really likes mulched-up Little Debbie cakes. And of course, pretzels are a no-no.”

When pressed whether W., as the family calls him, was in any shape for the world’s most powerful office, Governor Bush retorted, “That’s for the Bush family and their close friend God to decide.”

--Shamelessly Lifted from DCPox, my favorite satire site: www.dcpox.com