HOW WE GOT THE BILL OF RIGHTS

Horseflies.

Back when the Constitution was being written, the weather in Philadelphia was profoundly hot and humid. The founding dads were regularly gathered to write, discuss, argue, and generally blather on in a building blessed with plenty of large windows on all sides, for cross ventilation of what little air seemed to be available.

They had been arguing about these 10 amendments for days, it seemed, and there was apparently not much hope of reaching a consensus. There were more in favor of adding them to the Constitution than not, but the nays were headstrong and would not relent.

Now this building happened to be located near a stable. With all the windows open wide, one day the dads were surrounded by swarms of horseflies. They were already wretchedly hot and tired from arguing. The horseflies were the last straw. At that point, they would have signed over their first born to get out of there. And so they did--that is, those who in air-conditioned comfort might have argued till the cows came home, gave in to the proponents just so they all could get the hell out of that building and go home.

Had the weather been more temperate, had the horseflies not filled the hall that day, we might not have had the Bill of Rights. Imagine what this country would be without it? (Not that hard--another four years of Bush and Ashcroft and we may find out).

Next time you're attacked by a horsefly during some steamy summer afternoon at the ol' swimming hole, remember its contribution to your way of life, thank it, then of course kill the goddamn thing.